Story time
by MissWindowsill
Summary: Classic fairy tales mixed up with Final fantasy XIII. There's a lot of weather references and gender confusion. Rated T to be safe.
1. Prologue

Queen Nabaat walked.

The sound of her footsteps echoed throughout the long dark hallway as the queen made her way trough it. Heading to the top of the dark spooky looking tower.

Guards lined the walls, bowing to her as she passed. She noted that they weren't nearly similar enough to satisfy her OCD and cursed under her breath. Who the hell was in charge of picking out these men? Someone who wasn't doing a very impressive job that's for sure.

Shrugging the concern off for the moment she continued her stroll to the top of the tower. Reaching the stairs she walked up them for what seemed like an eternity. It was rather dull actually. She wished the damn walls had windows so she could at least look out at her kingdom. Even if it wasn't the biggest kingdom, not even _one of_ the biggest but it was still the greatest. To her. Because it was _hers_ after all.

After what seemed like forever the queen finally made it to the top floor. Pleased to see the two guards standing outside the single door were alert. Nodding with one of her small barely-there-smiles at them . She wouldn't have been smiling she knew the only reason they weren't sitting down on the floor playing rock paper scissor right now was that her footsteps could be heard five minutes before she actually made it up.

The guards grabbed the handles of the double doors and pulled them open for her.

She walked in.

The room was small and dark with no decor or furniture whatsoever. Well except for the big mirror that hung on the far wall.

The queen fixed her long dirt blond hair and adjusted her glasses before speaking.

"_Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"_

The mirror responded a bit too quickly.

"Cid Raines" It said.

Nabaat's eyes widened and she frowned deeply, staring at it in disbelief.

"Come again?"

"Yeah Cid Raines pretty smockin'" It said again

"WHAT?" Nabaat spat furiously. Quickly calming herself she still stared daggers at the damn thing "You don't understand, you're supposed to say "You are my queen"

"Well you are pretty but she's... I dunno she's just prettier" The mirror swung a bit as if shrugging.

"Cid Raines is a _man_" She narrowed her eyes at it.

"What?" The mirror stuttered out surprised "Are you kidding me? With _those_ eyelashes?"

"Oh shut up, they're not that impressive" She crossed her arms over her impressive chest.

"Well damn, what can you do?"

The queen tried to suppress her rage "Are you telling me that good for nothing _Cid Raines_ is fairer than me?"

"Well fairer yes, I'm sure you'll fit better into some other category! like who's the biggest bi-"

"Enough!" Nabatt interrupted. Stomping her foot hard on the ground.

"Guards!" She yelled, summoning the two by the door. They ran into the room in a hurry.

"What is it your highness?"

"I want you to find Snow white and bring him here!"

The guards were silent. Looking at each other uneasily. "Snow white? That's the really tall guy with a bandanna and a hero complex even tough he's never even saved a single princess?"

The queen narrowed her eyes at them, frowning deeply.

"No you idiots" She hissed "That's Goldilocks"

Pushing her glasses up on her nose as she tried to control the annoyance in her voice "Why do we have these codenamed if I am the only one who ever remembers them?"

The guards swallowed loudly. Glancing at each other again uneasily. They sure as hell didn't know why she bothered coming up with these things. They were just really confusing. Same with her codes "Code green" What the hell did that mean? Why couldn't you just say "Oi someone pissed on

the carpet, clean it up" Or would that be code yellow?

The same thing now, the guys name is _Snow_ so why the hell call someone else _Snow white?_ That's just confusing!

"Okay sorry"

She glared.

The guard straightened his position and saluted grandly "I mean my endless apologize your graceful highness! But um... Who is Snow white then?"

"Cid Raines."

Silence.

"Oh"

More silence.

"Why is he called that?"

Nabaat lost her temper and stomped into the ground again "Because his skin is white as snow and he has really light eyes! Honestly how hard can this be to remember?!"

The guards stared at her in horror. She stared right back before pushing her glasses up again. Speaking in a calmer tone "Now go and find him! Oh and while you are at it, get rid of any other pretty people you may find"

The guards nodded and then quickly scrambled down the staircase.

_Haha yeah I don't remember what spawned this idea. At least it was pretty entertaining to write. And eh sorry for any mistakes! English is my second language and I tend to get some things wrong hm. Lightning and the rest will show up next time. _


	2. Chapter 1

It was pretty early in the morning when Gatekeeper Amodar finally dragged himself out of his small cottage. Rubbing his eyes tiredly before climbing up in his high seat next to the gate. Leaning against the pedestal he blinked slowly. Looking around at the landscape.

Mostly grassy hills covered the space between each kingdom. There were a lot of them. He had trouble keeping track sometimes. That was what notes were for he supposed but his book with notes almost weighed more than a horse at this point so he didn't really bother dragging it out. He could just fake it if he had to. No one could keep track of all that stuff. If they claimed they could they were liars. Or wizards. Amodar didn't deal with either.

Well at least the sun was already shining pretty brightly and it was warm.

Amodar frowned, scratching his chin. Right. He had received a message last night. What was it again? Something about a knight on a mission to save a princess, he was supposed to help out. He had been given some gold and a horse to hand over to this knight person who would supposedly come by today. And he had been ordered to let them trough without any riddles.

How nice, because hey who cares that riddles are the only fun part of being a gatekeeper? No the stuck up high-ups from... Whatever kingdom they were from.

Maybe he should drag that book out.

Maybe he should get that stupid horse to do it.

Maybe he should stay as far away from that freaky horse as possible.

The thing had been huffing and grunting all night, looking trough his window as he tried to get some sleep. He couldn't deal with stuff like that.

What was the knights name again? It was some sort of weather reference so he figured he didn't have to write it up. What were the odds that another person would be named something like that? He'd know it when he heard it.

It was something stormy he knew that much.

Just then he was snapped out of his thoughts by a tall blond man walking by. Amodar watched with interest as the young man went past him and straight into the still closed gates. Smacking his head against it.

"Ouch!"

"Yeah usually you have to open a door before you can go trough it" Amodar yawned.

"Well isn't that your job? To open this thing"

"It is!" He sat up straight in his seat, looking down at the uncannily tall man "But first..." Pointing a finger at him "Question time!"

The man nodded vigorously "Alright! Okay"

Amodar rubbed his hands together, thinking of a riddle. Then he realized he was supposed to keep a look out for _Mister weather reference_ and sighed "Um okay first" Waving his hand in frustration "What's your name boy?"

"I'm Snow!" He smiled

Well of course, first job of the day and no riddle. "Snow eh? On a quest to save a princess huh?"

"You bet!"

"Right, then I've got something for you" Digging in his pocket for the small sack of gold he had been given. He pulled it up and tossed it at Snow "There's a horse in the back" Jerking his head in the direction of said horse "But I'm not going near it, you're probably better off leaving it too."

"Woah!" Snow yelped in surprise as he caught the small sack of gold "Why are you giving me this?"

"It's some sort of funding or gift from the majestic kingdom of... Oh crud..." Amodar coughed awkwardly into his fist "The nthmmhmm" he mumbled.

"Oh" Snow looked surprised. Staring at the small sack before stuffing it in his pocket "Well thanks then!"

"Yeah yeah all's in order" Amodar smiled slightly, waving his hand dismissively. He looked suddenly thoughtful and pointed at Snow "Say...don't I know you from somewhere?"

"Yeah some people call me Goldilocks" He smiled sweetly.

"Ah you're the guy who walked into a bear house" He had always thought that strange when he heard the songs but seeing this guy walk straight into a closed gate somehow cleared the whole thing up a bit.

"No actually they were cats"

"Cats?" He rose his eyebrows "That bard song said they were bears!"

"Yeah I know that bard I told the story to wasn't very good at rhyming" Snow shrugged "He took a lot of liberties"

"Oh"

An awkward silence rose between them.

"Cats huh?"

"Yeah or well they were sort of people but they call themselves stray cats. A real nice bunch"

Amodar shook his head, facepalming. Another exiting story completely ruined by the truth.

"Yeah Alright" He said rubbing his forehead "You may pass trough" Gesturing for the gate "Go get your hell spawn horse and I'll get the gate open for you"

"Oh wow thanks gatekeeper!" Snow said as he rushed around the cottage to collect his horse.

Amodar shook his head, getting up to pull the lever that opened the gate. Snow returned on horseback "Uh you couldn't like give me a few pointers on horse riding?" He smiled uneasily.

"I've never done this before"

"Nonsense" Amodar chucked as he walked up to him "You're a hero right? I've heard your catchphrase. Heroes don't need plans"

"Yeah you're right but-"

"Away with you!" Amodar shouted gladly as he smacked the horse's backside, sending it shooting into town at high speed. Snow screaming as he went.

The gatekeeper laughed. Closing the heavy wooden doors behind him before climbing back up in his own seat again.

Chuckling for a while until another person arrived. On horseback this time.

They wore a shiny silver suit of armor and rode on a white beautiful looking horse.

"Good day" A cold collected voice said from underneath a frightening helmet. "I'm Knight Lightning from the kingdom of Bodhum"

Amodar's heart jumped and his eyes widened. Shit. _This_ was the guy he'd been told about. The weather reference. It struck him now when the knight presented himself.

Oh he'd really messed up.

But like any real man he decided that rather than telling the truth and admitting his mistake he would fake and lie the everliving daylight out of the situation.

"Oh Knight Lightning huh?" He smiled "You want to get trough?"

"Yes" he said simply.

"I was told there was some resources waiting for me at this checkpoint" He added.

Amodar froze "Yeah they told you that didn't they but uhmm... There's not"

"There's not?"

Shooting up from his seat "**Question time!**"

"What?"

"One riddle to pass trough and one to get your resources, that's what they told me to do"

The knights face although hidden behind a helmet was one of confusion. That sounds weird but it was sort of...It looked kind of like a confused robot face if you thought about it.

"Alright?" Sounding a bit unsure.

"Alright, first riddle" Amodar stressed.

"_What has many keys but opens no doors?"_

"A piano" The knight answered quickly.

Darn it. He had hoped they wouldn't be very good at this. Maybe it was just a lucky shot.

"Congratulations! Next riddle is uhm..." Sweating a bit.

"_What is something you'll never be able to answer?"_

"Um..." the knight looked unsure "An... Unasked question?"

Amodar cursed, that was actually way better than what he was thinking of. Still they_ technically _got it wrong "**No!**" He laughed a bit too relieved.

"It's this question"

"But... The answer is a paradox" The Knight mumbled.

"Yeah I know, not my problem, have a good day" Pulling the lever the gates opened. The knight stared at him awkwardly for a while before shaking his head and shrugging it off "Alright then, she'll just have to ride behind me I guess, come on Odin" And with that they were off.

Amodar breathed out heavily. Closing the gates he slumped against the pedestal again.

Well at least he could steal the answer to that last riddle.

_Yeah Lightning __**is**__ a lady. Amodar just can't tell because she has the helmet on. Hehe. _


	3. Chapter 2

Snow had managed to stop his horse and get off. Stopping it and getting off of course meaning: The beast threw him off halfway into town and then proceeding to run straight into a vegetable stand. Luckily the towns people and shop owner were too terrified of the horse to actually demand any sort of compensation and Snow was off the hook.

After having bought some supplies (It was cheap too, half of the sellers just threw things at him and ran in the other direction without asking for payment. Maybe that was horse related too) the tall blond man now found himself slowly riding along the road on his way towards the dragons lair.

Which was where he was going to rescue princess Serah who had been captured by an evil dragon not many nights ago.

He stopped by a fork in the road. The horse grunting aggressively but otherwise kept calm. Looking at the road signs he found them to be less than helpful. Only simply stating "Left" and "Right" pointing in the wrong directions too. He frowned. Wishing the gatekeeper would have given him a map. Or that he would have thought about packing one of his own.

Well it couldn't be helped now.

Snow scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"What are you doing here?"

Snow spun around to see an armor clad person on a white horse ride up next to him. The voice was somewhat muffled by the helmet hiding their face.

"Me? I'm-"

"I know you"

"You know me? Who um... Who are you?"

The figure stared at him before reaching up and pulling off their helmet. Locks of pink hair falling in place. Snow's eyes widened and he smiled "Heeeey it's Lightning!"

"What are you doing here?" She spat, not letting him answer before she spoke again "You're on your way to rescue Serah right?"

"Yeah that was the idea"

"Forget it! You stay away from her! I know about how you play your lute outside her chamber window" She glared at him "I know what you want!"

"What?" Snow stared at her "Your sister and I-"

"I don't want to hear it!" Clenching her hands into fists she pointed down the road she had come "You turn straight back and return to Bodum and you never come near my sister again!"

"Woah there" He held up his hands in defense "You don't have monopoly on saving princesses here! If I want to save Serah that's up to me. What about you? Aren't you a princess too?"

"What about it?"

"Shouldn't you be in your kingdom? You know how princesses gets kidnapped left and right here"

"That's why I'm wearing a helmet!" She shouted, resisting the urge to throw it at him.

"Not right now you're not" Snow said, glancing up in the sky as if he expected a dragon to swoop down from nowhere and grab her. Which considering where they were wasn't entirely unlikely. Lighting looked a little startled and promptly put the helmet back on.

"If you don't turn back I'll_ cut you down_" She hissed again "You didn't even think about bringing a sword did you? How do you expect to slay a dragon like that?"

"Hah! I just don't need a sword"

Lightning was about to reply to that when the sound of horse hooves caught both of theirs attention. They turned around to see someone riding up to them on a black horse.

"Pardon me" The man said politely "But you two are blocking the road" Looking at said roads "Both of them"

Snow frowned thoughtfully and pointed at the man "Hey! You're prince Raines"

"How kind of you to remind me"

Lightning was confused "Raines? What are you doing out here?" Straightening her back like a true soldier "Isn't your kingdom very far away?"

Raines frowned "Yes I... Have business over here" He all but sighed.

"Oh? What business?" Snow wondered curiously.

Raines stared at him, hesitating he looked away to the side. "I'm on my way to rescue a princess of course"

"A princess?" Lightning said defensively.

"Yes, though not princess Serah, I'll leave that to you_ Knight Farron_" He said, apparently not fooled by her armor. It was the horse mostly, it was close to legendary. He looked at Snow "Or perhaps to you" Shrugging.

Lightning relaxed a bit. The last thing she needed was even more people trying to get in her way. Snow was still curious though "Rescue a princess? You?" A short pause "Why?"

Raines frowned. Looking non plussed "Why so we can marry and live happily ever after and rule the kingdom together of course" He sounded less than thrilled, rolling his eyes.

"You don't seem very excited"

"Of course not. I don't even want to be here! But everyones constantly telling me to "_Do as we say_" and "_Listen to me because I'm an old hag so of course I would know better_" and "_Let me decide everything you do_" and lets not forget "_Raines why would you want to live life your way . You're a prince after all you shouldn't decide what to do __**we**__ should_."

He breathed out heavily, cheeks slightly red from the small outburst. "In _my_ opinion" He said more calmly "We would be better of focusing on slaying dragons and evil wizards and rescue _all_ princesses and villages at once rather than focusing on rescuing one at a time" He Sighed in defeat.

"But no one listens to _me_. So I decided to go and rescue some princess" Waving his hand dismissively.

Fixing his gray eyes on the incorrect road sign "Now if you will, I need to get on my way" He said simply.

Snow with some effort and incredible luck managed to move himself and his horse out of the way without making a complete jackass out of himself again and before they knew it Raines had disappeared down the right road (The actual right road, not the one the sign claimed to be right)

"Well then" Snow smiled "I guess I'll-" turning back to look at Lightning he was greeted by her blade right in his face. His eyes widened. "You stay right here" She said calmly "_I will cut you_"

Snow stared at her in disbelief. Swallowing loudly he looked from her to the blade and back again before mustering up some words.

"I call dibs on rescuing Serah"

"You _what?_"

"I call dibs, I reserve, I claim!"

Lightning looked startled "You can't do that!"

"Sure I can! If you can forbid me then I can claim!"

"That's not how it works!"

"Ah the rules doesn't suit all of a sudden!"

"That is not a rule! Thats... that's a paradox to me forbidding you!"

"Well alright then how about we race?"

She looked at him in silence for a few moments before twisting in her seat a bit uneasily "Alright" She said at last "If I win you stay away from Serah"

"And if I win you won't try and come between us"

She cursed. Seemingly hesitating before nodding slowly "Fine then..."

Snow laughed and clapped his hands together "Alright then! It's on let's see who-" He noticed Lightning had suddenly speed off down the road, quickly disappearing in the distance "AH crap" he cursed. "Horsey! Let's get after her!"

The horse ignored him, chewing on some grass instead.

Snow glared. Jumping in his seat a bit "Come oooon horse, let's get moving!"

The horse snorted.

"I'm not asking you again horse!"

Snow dug his heels into the sides of the horse "HORSE!"

The horse suddenly kicked out with it's back legs, throwing Snow off itself.

He landed on the ground with a loud thud. The air going out of his lungs and he gasped loudly. Rolling onto his side groaning in agony "_Why?_" Trying to struggle his foot lose as it was still caught in the stirrup. The satanic horse noticed this and promptly started galloping down the road, dragging the unfortunate blond after itself.

"NO! NO HORSEY! STOP!" He screamed desperately as he slid across the ground. The horse only increased it's speed though, making a sort of screeching horse laugh as it went.


	4. Chapter 3

Sazh woke suddenly as he heard that rooster (He assumed it was a rooster, it sounded a bit off though) do it's usual morning screech. Muttering tiredly he sat up slowly. Rubbing his eyes as he yawned.

Blanket off. Sazh threw his feet over the edge of the bed and got up, grabbing his robes he put them on lazily. Walking into the kitchen of his small cottage. He clattered around with some pots to make breakfast.

Sazh was pretty new around these parts. He had gotten tired of the city he lived in always getting attacked by goblins, evil wizards, dragons and that one time they were almost burnt to the ground by a plush animal. That was the worst.

He shivered at the memory.

Shaking his head. A man just don't get over things like that. So he had taken his son Dajh and all their things and just moved to a nice quiet little spot out in the woods. Right by one of the main roads so they saw plenty of visitors. And by plenty he meant_ just enough_.

And they hadn't been attacked by any goblins, wizards, dragons or devil worshiping toy animals because they had no_ princesses _here.

Princesses must be like handbags or something for evil doers because everyone was trying to get their hands on one. Sazh didn't exactly approve but there wasn't much he could do other than try and stay out of it.

And he did that just fine. Out here in the_ princess free zone_.

Sazh chuckled as he poured himself some home made coffee. It left much to be desired. Tasted sort of bitter but at least his victory was sweet.

Walking past Dajh room he said good morning to his empty bed and continued down the small hallway.

Stopping suddenly he backed up a few steps. Looking into his room at the empty bed again "Dajh?"

No reply.

"Daaaajh?" He smiled nervously. Stepping inside "Where are you little guy?"

Not in the room apparently. Sazh learned that after throwing his cup away in a fit of uncontrollable panic. Ripping the room and the rest of the house into shreds searching for him.

"Dajh where are you?!" looking outside "DAJH?" Opening all the closets and cupboards "DAJH?!"

Staring into his coffee cup "DAJH?"

"Dajh this isn't funny anymore! It never was actually but still, please!"

When he rummaged trough his sons bed again he actually found something. It wasn't Dajh though. It was a note (But seeing as he had managed to miss _that_, maybe he should check the coffee cup for Dajh one more time too)

He decided to read it while still frantically searching. In the distance he could hear the rooster-or-whatever-it-was screech again.

"Um okay let's see" unfolding it clumsily.

"_Hey what's up? I borrowed your dwarf. Or I guess I kidnapped him I don't really know. Anyway the reason I did that was so you will help me with something. If you help me with that thing I'll give you your dwarf back._

_You should come to my cabin, it's a bit far from here (I mean from where you are right now, I'm writing this at home- then I'm going to leave it in your house so you can read it and come to me)_

_I'm including a map. Hurry up and get here!_

_The Witch._

The note was a bit confusing and Sazh had to read it several times to really get it "She did WHAT?"

Rooster screech.

"My DWARF? That's my SON!"

He unfolded the map, spreading it out on the table. "Uh okay right this is my house" Pointing at the little drawing of his cottage. Then tracing a red line going trough some woods all the way to another drawing of another house. Sazh eyes widened in terror "A gingerbread house?" He breathed and backed away, right into the wall.

"It's_ that _witch?!" He gasped "The candy witch! She's going to eat my little boy!"

Not waisting anymore time Sazh Dressed quickly and packed a small bag of supplies and gold. He locked up the house hastily and began running the way the map told him to. Then he backtracked a bit and turned the map the_ right_ way. Proceeding to go the way the map_ actual _told him to.

Ooooooo

Knight Farron made her way along the road going trough the woods. A mountain snaking it's way alongside her. Occasionally she would stop, get off her horse and close a gate behind her. Or turning a sign around or climb up the mountain to push a giant boulder down on the road (Basic stuff) to slow Snow down.

She smiled for herself, pleased with her work so far. Soon she'd reach the castle. Rescue her sister and then that stupid Snow wouldn't ever bother her _again. _She could basically taste victory already. And it was sweet.

Suddenly her horse, Odin huffed. Sniffing the air. "What is it Odin?" Lightning asked and reached for her blade. The horse shook his head as if to say it wasn't anything dangerous. Just odd.

Lightning rose one of her eyebrows in confusion and decided to sniff the air too. There was something off about it. It smelled _sweet_ somehow. Not like her victory tough. Too sweet, like sugar.

They continued until they came around a small turn and then she saw it. The source of the smell.

It was a giant gingerbread house.

"What the...?" She whispered. It seemed familiar somehow. But she couldn't quite place it.

It was right by the road she needed to go so she had no choice but to ride closer. As soon as she came up to it she heard noises from inside and the door suddenly flung open.

Lightning gasped and drew out her sword. **"Halt!"** She shouted and pointed it at the person who had emerged.

It was a dark haired woman. Dressed rather oddly. She stopped suddenly when she saw Lightning's sword and held her hands up in defense "Woah! Relax! I'm not gonna attack ya!"

Lightning didn't relax "Who are you?"

"I'm Fang!" She smiled "Also known as _The Witch_" Wiggling her fingers "I do the magics"

Lightning didn't look amused. She had the helmet on still but under it she wasn't amused either.

"What do you want?" She hissed back at the witch.

The woman, Fang relaxed a bit. "Okay look mister Knight person, I need your help"

"I don't have time to help you. I have my own quest to go on"

"No look. You _have_ to help me!" She stressed "I'm in deep shit here!"

"I don't care I'm sorry" Lightning lowered her blade. "I need to rescue Princess Serah"

"I need to rescue a princess too!" Fang shouted.

"Good luck!"

"NO wait you don't understand! Look, them, the princesses they were captured by the _same_ dragon!"

"Oh? Well then I'll just slay it for you then"

"No it's more complicated than that!" She stomped her foot into the ground in frustration "Look my Princess has been in captivity for _a very long time_" Lightning began moving again and Fang walked after her stubbornly "The thing is she's kind of under a spell that_ I _can't break"

"What sort of a witch are you if you can't even break a spell?"

"It's a special spell! I've tried believe me! Now look if you rescue Serah, he's going to have more time keeping his eyes on my Princess! Before Serah got here I could barely make it into the castle!"

"But if_ I _help_ you _rescue_ your _Princess doesn't that mean he will have more time to guard_ mine_?"

"See I knew you would say that" Fang smiled sheepishly "But I have a plan"

"Tch, yeah right" Lightning scoffed "I don't believe you"

"Okay look here!" Fang shouted and grabbed Lightning's leg, pulling her down from the horse unexpectedly. She hit the ground hard and Fang climbed up on her, pushing her down"If we rescue Vanille she and I will use our combined magic to help you rescue Serah okay? You gotta help me man I kidnapped a kid for this"

"You what?" Lightning spat.

"I kidnapped a kid so his dad would help me! The thing is..." She looked away in embarrassment. "The dragon kidnapped him too so I'm kind of deep in this mess now"

Lightning face palmed and sighed loudly. A little kid? She couldn't just leave a child in the hands of a dragon.

"Fine" She sighed and Fang threw her hands up in victory.

"But!" Lightning cut in "I have competition. I can't let him get to Serah before me. If you can stop his pursuit somehow I will help you"

"Fang smirked mischievously "I think I could come up with something creative"

_Well why thank you for reading you probably have nice eyes. Probably. Maybe. Rawr. Honestly thank you!_


	5. Chapter 4

Amodar had dozed off. Resting on his arms. There hadn't been a lot of visitors except for that Snow-fall-guy and the other knight person. He had eventually gotten bored and fallen asleep.

He was awoken suddenly by the sound of horse hooves. Amodar sat up quickly and rubbed his eyes. Seeing a band of about five riders make their way over to him.

"Hey, hey there hold up!" he yawned and shook his hands at them "You looking to get through?" A small mischievous smile was forming on his face as the riders stopped in front of him.

"Yes" The one at the lead said grandly and started digging in his bag for something. Pulling out a scroll he held it up for Amodar to read "Here is a message from Queen Nabaat, you are to let us through-"

Amodar sighed loudly and rolled his eyes "Without any riddles I get it" Shaking his head. What did everyone have against riddles? It wasn't like they were very hard or anything! No it must be

something personal. Everyone just hated him.

He looked at them sourly. Glaring. If he could just teach himself some magic tricks he wouldn't have to take crap like this from royals he had never even met.

He made a mental note of that.

"Fine" he waved his hand unenthusiastically and got up to pull the lever for them "You can go through" Just as he was rising though one of the soldiers spoke again "Also have you seen a man called Snow white?"

Amodar froze a bit "You mean Snow?"

"No Snow-White"

He looked confused at the soldier "... Snow?"

"_Snow-White_" The man said again. Getting annoyed now.

"I mean is that like a nickname or something?" Amodar looked confused, rubbing his forehead before sighing, putting his hands on his hips as he shook his head "I mean honestly who names their kids stuff like this? I'm waiting for Knight Banana to ride through right now"

"I'm here Sir"

"That's it I give up" Amodar growled. He walked over and pulled the lever to open the door for them. "I have seen a Snow, though heaven knows if it's the same person"

"Well" One of the riders started a bit awkwardly "Was he pretty?"

Amodar frowned and shrugged uneasily "Uh well I _guess" _Scratching his neck "He looked like a guy who would be popular you know"

Clearing his throat "He was on his way to rescue some princess"

"That must be him!" Knight Banana shouted "Snow white was going to go rescue a princess!"

"Great!" The leader responded "Thank you very much for your help Gatekeeper! He went through here I assume?"

"Yeah he did" He responded and waved his hand dismissively again. Raising one of his eyebrows curiously "Though I have to ask. Why are you guys looking for him? Uhhh" Suddenly remembering the whole ordeal of him handing him a horse and gold meant for someone else. He hoped they weren't chasing him down because of that.

"Did he uh... Do something bad?"

The leader was quiet for a moment and twisted in his seat uncomfortably. Rolling up the scroll and putting it back in his bag before answering "Well... No"

"No?" Amodar frowned.

"Well um... he's pretty..."

"What?" Amodar crossed his arms "Why are you chasing him? Are you some kind of weirdos? If he's not interested-"

"It's not us! It's the queen!"

"Well if she can't take no for an answer-"

"It's not that! Look she asked her mirror who's the fairest of them all and it said_ Snow white _okay?" he shook his head.

"Are you kidding me? That's a bit insecure. I mean just because_ one _mirror don't find you attractive- Look there's other mirrors out there"

"Okay Mister gatekeeper Sir" The leader began again "We don't make the rules and orders okay? Queen Nabaat does and you_ do not _want to argue with that woman" He sighed "We're also supposed to get rid of any other attractive person we can find"

"Right, did I say Snow went through here?" Amodar laughed awkwardly "I mean he went in that direction" pointing in the complete opposite direction from the town "Down there, in there into the mountains"

The leader looked hesitant "What?"

"Yeah a lot of people with weird names came through today" Amodar shrugged and pulled the lever again, closing the gate. "I get them mixed up. Someone named Thunder went trough town but Snow went thaaaat way. Waaaay over there"

"Are you serious?"

"Very" He sat down in his seat again and smiled at them "Be on your way" Waving them off.

They seemed a little hesitant but eventually turned around and started riding down the direction he had given them. Amodar shook his head. Now if Snow _had _been a criminal he wouldn't have minded telling them the truth of where he had gone. But hunting someone down just because someone else find them prettier? That's just weird.

He chuckled and shook his head. And "getting rid of" any attractive person they came across? Ridiculous.

He chuckled for a while more until something dawned on him. Frowning "Hey!" he shouted after them though they were long gone "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder you jerks!" Frowning "It's just because I'm a little_ meaty _isn't it?!"

No response of course. He shook his head. Whatever.

Oooooooooooo

Sazh made his way through the woods. Holding the map in front of himself as he walked. He could have sworn that rooster was following him because no matter how far he walked from his cottage he could hear it just as loudly as if he had still been standing outside his own door.

He noticed there were a lot of boulders on the road. It was weird. Plus all the gates were closed and the signs didn't at all tell him what the map told him. He went with what the map said and even took the liberty to turn the signs the right way too.

The roosters screeching had at some point turned into a persistent squeaking noise that sounded like it was right in his ear. He frowned deeply and shut his eyes. Covering his ears "I can't take it anymore! What is that freaking sound?!"

He opened his eyes again and was greeted by a bright ball of yellow right in his face.

He stared.

It squeaked.

He jumped back with a shout "What are you?!"

It squeaked at him happily, flying around him in circles. "Okay woah! Slow down you're making me dizzy!"

It stopped in front of him. Landing in his out stretched hand.

"Good" he breathed out relived, rubbing his forehead. "Say you look kinda like a... Naaaah they're just stories" Smiling "Chocobos aren't real"

That seemed to offend the little bird like creature. It flew up in his face again, squeaking furiously. "What?! I'm sorry I'm sorry!" Hiding his face in his hands "Please stop!" The little bird was merciful and stopped.

"Whew... thanks" fixing his afro somewhat "So does that mean you are a chocobo?"

It squeaked as if to confirm that he was right.

"Oh I didn't no you guys were real, no offense" He looked thoughtful "Though we live in a world with wizards and dragons. I guess I shouldn't be so surprised" He chuckled and smiled at the little bird "But you are pretty small. I though you we're big enough to ride on" It squeaked angrily and looked like it was going to attack him again. Sazh threw his hands up in defense "Okay I'm sorry! You're just a baby huh? I get it, I get it" Smiling "Hey I'm looking for my son Dajh! He's always telling me how he thinks chocobos are real. I guess he was right"

The chocobo squeaked happily. Flying around in little circles. Sazh found it a bit unnerving that he could almost understand it "Hehe right I uh need to be on my way or he's going to get eaten"

It squeaked again "Oh you want to come with me?" Squeak "Well I guess you do know more about this forest than me" Squeak, squeak "And I'm sure Dajh would love to meet you"

It squeaked loudly and flew itself up to his hair. Seating itself there.

Sazh smiled "I just talked to and befriended a bird on my way to rescuing my son from a candy witch" he started walking again "And it's not even noon yet"

He walked on for a while longer until he felt a strange scent in the air. The chocobo seemed to notice it too as it stuck it's head out of his afro and chirruped.

"Yeah I smell it too pal" he sniffed the air "Smells sweet, like candy! We must be close!" he picked up his pace and rounded a corner. Greeted by the giant gingerbread house "There' it is" comparing it to the drawing on the map for no real reason "The witch must be in there!" he started rushing towards it but stopped abruptly as he noticed a couple of figures standing close by. He dived back behind a large rock and peeked out again carefully.

They looked like people at a distance. But when he squinted his eyes he could see that they seemed to be made out of pots, broomsticks and various other household things.

"What the...?" He whispered. Squinting harder. First he thought that maybe they were a bunch of scarecrows but then he saw that they actually_ moved._ And they were_ armed! _

"Is that stupid witch trying to keep me out? What is wrong with her?!" Frowning "I need to sneak past them into the house somehow-" He was interrupted by the sound of horse hooves coming closer quickly.

Sazh turned around when he heard someone scream and jumped slightly as he saw a man approaching quickly on the back of a black horse with mad eyes.

"Stop horsey! Stop please!" He screamed desperately. The horse kept going though. "Wait!" Sazh shouted "Wait there's uh- There's kitchen soldiers out there!"

The man didn't – or couldn't stop and ran right past him. Finally the horse seemed to notice the soldiers and promptly stopped. It's rider was less lucky and flew off the horse. Landing on one of the four soldiers.

Loud clanking and crushing sounds later Sazh dared to peek back over the rock again "You okay?"

The man lay still on top of the now inanimate "Kitchen soldier" the other three just staring at the mess in disbelief.

The man grunted in pain. One of the soldiers rose it's sword as if to stab him with it and Sazh's heart jumped "Hey kid!" he shouted "Look out!"

The man stirred, looking up. He managed to roll out of harms way just in time. The soldiers blade connecting with it's fallen comrades pot. Making a loud ringing sound.

"Behind you!" Sazh shouted again and the man avoided another blow. He started fighting back bare handed, punching the soldiers while Sazh screamed warnings at him.

Eventually only one soldier remained. And in a wave of rage and adrenaline the large blond man picked it up and threw it into the side of the gingerbread house. It crashed trough the wall with loud thuds and cracking sounds.

Everything went quiet. The blond man breathed heavily. Sazh stared. Looking at the giant hole in the wall. He thought that it was a bit unnecessary to wreck her house like that. Then he remembered that she had kidnapped his kid and left soldiers out for him so he just shrugged.

Getting up from his hiding place "Uh hey! You alright?" Walking up to the other man slowly. He suddenly turned around, grinning widely "Yeah I'm fine! Thanks man!"

Sazh smiled back, relived. "Oh good! Hey it's a good thing you shoved up! I'm not sure how I would have gotten past those guys if you hadn't"

"Oh that's nothing" he smirked "I'm taking on a dragon later on!"

Sazh stared "Really? Bare handed?"

"Yeah" he smirked and looked down at the pots and wooden spoons as if to prove a point. Sazh could take a hint "Alright I believe you"

The tall man smiled "I'm Snow by the way!"

"Sazh, nice to meet you Snow!"

"Yeah you too!"

Nodding slowly "Anyway I need to go and look for my kid in there" motioning towards the now wrecked gingerbread house.

"Oh! I'll help you look"

"Really? That's nice but weren't you heading somewhere?"

"Yeah but I bet this will go fast" placing a hand on his own chest "As a hero I am obliged to help anyone in need!"

"Well if you say so then" he smiled back at him "Let's go"

The door to the house was locked. Not that it mattered since there was a giant hole in the wall anyways. They stepped right in. The place was dark and smelled so strongly of sweets that Sazh had trouble breathing. Snow seemed fine though and just walked around.

It was empty. There was no one there. Sazh's heart beat faster and faster. He was just about to rip the house apart looking for Dajh when the chocobo flew out of his hair. Chirruping loudly.

"Hey is that-" Snow began.

"It's a long story" Sazh said simply, following the little bird to the table in the middle of the room. It landed on a note that lay there. Sazh picked it up quickly.

Since the candy cottage was so dark he had to walk out into the sunlight to be able to read it. Snow and the bird close behind him.

_Hey if you read this. Daddy guy (Which I hope you don't. I was kind of wishing that the soldiers I made would keep you at bay and buy me some more time but hey! Shit happens) That means that you made it into my house before I could come back home._

_I was forced to leave on a very important quest to save princess Vanille and princess Serah. I will be back in a jiffy though don't you worry. And I have your kid with me (Sorry about the dwarf thing, my bad I didn't see he was a kid from a distance)_

_He's with me, he's fine. He has not been kidnapped by a giant killer dragon and kept in a scary tower that could traumatize him for life. He is not there. He is with me, he is fine okay._

_The witch._

Sazh stared at the note with wide eyes. Snow and the bird tried to read it over his shoulders.

"My son has been kidnapped by a giant killer dragon" he whispered.

"What?" Snow asked "I couldn't hear you"

Sazh turned around sharply. Looking at him with glassy eyes "My son is going to be eaten by a flying lizard"

Snow looked at him in confusion. Carefully taking the note and reading it slowly while Sazh just stared at him. Tears running down his cheeks. It was the most unnerving thing Snow had seen all day. And he had just fought a bunch of soldiers made out of pots. Think about that for a second.

"Princess Serah?" he said after reading it "I'm on my way too rescue her right now!" Grinning "You could come with me! I'm sure we'll find your son there too!"

Sazh finally blinked. Shaking his head as if to clear it "Are you serious?"

"Yeah! Come with me I'm sure it will work out!"

Sazh looked at him, hesitating for only a second before he nodded. Now determined again "You're right! I can't lose hope now! I have to find my little boy!"

"Yeah!" Snow pumped his fist in the air "That's the spirit! Come on let's go!"

"Yeah!" Sazh agreed enthusiastically "Let's go!" The chocobo flying back into his hair with a cheerful squeak.

Snow jumped up on his horse which had begun to much on grass again. And one of the wooden spoons from the kitchen soldiers too. It bit into it with wild eyes. It was a bit creepy. Especially if you considered the possibility that maybe the horse thought the soldiers were actually human.

But surely if it did think that it wouldn't be eating on their limbs right? Right?

It was a similar trail of thought that made Sazh say uneasily "Um I don't have a horse though"

Snow smiled at him, patting the spot behind himself "It's alright! You can ride with me!"

The horse huffed aggressively, biting the spoon in half.

"I'm not so sure-"

Snow grabbed him by his collar and pulled him up behind himself "Just hold on to me" He said cheerfully. Then his expression got dead serious "**Hard**"

And soon they were making their way through the woods at an uncontrollable speed. Both screaming in fear at the horse to "_Please for the love of everything that is beautiful in the world** slow down**!_" Which of course only made it go faster.

_For the record: I don't think Amodar is unattractive. I think he's really cute and handsome but the soldiers have a different taste hehe._

_ Also I mix words up a lot sorry about that. Any constructive criticism is much appreciated 3_


	6. Chapter 5

Prince Raines made his way down a narrow path through the woods. It was quiet, just a few birds chirping and the sound of his horses hooves on the ground. The sun shone brightly even in the forest but he still looked less than thrilled.

Finally he saw his destination ahead of him in a small clearing. It was a tall tower with one single window high up and no door. Surrounded by a small gathering of rose bushes. He rode up to it and stopped. Getting off his horse he brushed off his clothes a bit and adjusted his cape.

Cid unsheathed his sword and hacked away some of the thorn bushes right by the base of the tower before returning the blade again.

Sighing he looked up at the lonely window. For a moment he played with the idea of just getting back up in the saddle and riding away. Maybe change his name and live in a cave all by himself. He had seen some pretty homely looking caves before. It couldn't be that hard. Or maybe he would build a cottage, sure it would be hard work but at least he wouldn't have to take orders from old hags and senile old men anymore.

Then he remembered his people and shook his head. They needed him after all and he wasn't going to leave them just like that. No matter how tempting it was sometimes.

Frowning before he cleared his throat.

"_Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair_"

He called out softly.

It was quiet. His frown deepened and he looked around a bit awkwardly. Glancing at his horse who just huffed. Raines looked back up at the tower and tried again. A bit louder this time.

"_Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair_!"

Staring "Please!" he added for good measure.

Finally he heard some movement up there and eventually a long braid of hair came falling down. Cid took a step back as he observed the dangling braid. He took it gently in his hands and frowned.

"How is this supposed to carry the weight of a grown man?" he muttered to no one in particular. Giving it a light pull to see that it was actually going to hold. Shrugging he grabbed hold of it and placed his feet on the wall of the tower. Starting to climb up.

He was a well trained man and the trip up wasn't very challenging. Except for that part half way up when he seriously started to question if the thing would hold. He didn't fancy crashing into the rose bushes below... But it was sturdier than he had thought and eventually he managed to make his way into the window of the tower.

Putting both of his feet on the floor he let the braid slip out of his hands.

"Pardon my intrusion" He said politely as he dusted off his gloves.

"Thank you for letting me in"

"No problem, sorry it took so long. I was nappin'"

Cid frowned a bit in slight confusion "I am here to rescue you-" He looked up and his eyes widened in surprise. In front of him was no princess.

"You are a man" He said in disbelief. Staring at the other, well the other _**man**__._

He smiled charmingly at him "I get tha_t a lot_"

Cid backed into the windowsill "I was misinformed then"

"Yeah you were" the "princess" chuckled "My name's not actually "_Rapunzel_" it's _Rygdea_" He nodded.

"No I was told there was a_ princess_ in this tower"

"Ya know they all say that!" Rygdea frowned deeply and turned around, walking further into the quite spacious, if a bit dark, room. Waving his hands "If ya knew how many times I've_ almost _been rescued from this stupid tower you'd be so frustrated ya would throw yourself right out of that window!"

Cid observed him awkwardly. Fascinated by his long brown hair that snaked after him when he walked. His eyes darted around trying to find the end of it.

"There was all those guys, thinkin' they'd rescue a princess and expectin' some kinda _dirty favor_ as reward! Well take that ya stupid **sexist**. Ya don't have to be a girl to be locked away by an evil wizard! And then there was that one lesbian chick who looked like she was gonna murder me when she saw I was a guy" Rygdea went on as he walked in circles around the room.

Cid ripped his gaze from the braid on the floor and looked up at the man again. Observing him. He walked further into the room. Up on closer inspection he could see that the walls were littered in different letters and drawings.

He read some of them with interest. "Let me the hell out" "I wonder how many people I could strangle with my hair at once" "I saw a brown horse today" "I'm running out of space on the walls" "I'm going to murder all of you" "Just wait until I get out of here" were some of the more quaint ones.

He also saw a rather crude drawing which seemed to illustrate Rygdea chopping the head of off an old man. There were some stains too that looked suspiciously a lot like blood. Rygdea noticed him staring at his work and said a bit_ too _fast "That's not blood"

"Of course" Cid said stiffly. Looking Rygdea over once more. He was unshaved, his long hair had a light brown color and his eyes looked like the sky. His mental condition after being locked away for so long might be up for discussion. He was a man by all means. Not a princess. He had come all this way for a prince.

"So you are a prince then" He said finally.

Rygdea smiled sheepishly "Well... _No_"

Cid closed his eyes and counted to ten. The room was quiet. Rygdea awkwardly scratched his stubbled chin..

Finally Cid opened his eyes, giving him a steely stare "You'll have to do"

The _not actually a princess nor prince_ jumped slightly in surprise "What?" he said hopefully.

"I came to rescue someone and bring them home. The old coots back in my kingdom might not like it but I did as I was asked. No matter the outcome. I fulfilled my duty" gesturing for the window "You are coming with me"

Rygdea's face lit up "Really? You're gonna take me from this awful tower? Oh gee you wouldn't believe how long I've been stuck up here!" He jumped excitedly.

Cid's mouth twitched. It was almost like he was going to smirk but nothing came of it "Yes well it is quite the ride back to my kingdom. We'll have a lot of time to talk"

"Sure anythin' ya want my prince!" He laughed and hugged him tightly. Cid awkwardly tolerated it. Rygdea didn't seem to mind either way as he squeezed him tighter. "Thank you!"

"Yes you are welcome" pushing him away gently "Although that... hm you'll have to be a little less _forward_... You have been cooped up in here all by yourself. Your social skills might need some work"

Rygdea looked at him and nodded slowly "Yes of course anything' Mister prince... eh yeah what's your name?"

"Cid Raines"

"Alright" Smiling "Wow Ciddy I haven't been outside for_ ages!_"

"_Cid"_

"Raines"

He sighed "Very well then. I don't suppose you have some sort of hidden door here?"

Rygdea shook his head vigorously "No, I've looked everywhere!_ Trust me_" His voice was laced with a sort of tiredness that belonged to a man that had spent one too many nights crawling around the cold stone floor of a tower looking for a trap door and then spent at least thirty minutes drawing said experience on the wall with crude stick figures.

"Then we will just have to climb down" He responded simply.

"Yeah alright! Okay!" Rygdea said enthusiastically.

"I am curious though" Cid blinked slowly "Why haven't you climbed out of the tower before? Surely it is something you could do on your own"

Rygdea looked at him and blushed a little "See you would think that's an easy thing to do but those thorn bushes are really vicious!" He rubbed his arms as if he was freezing but Cid guessed he was remembering a few cuts and scratches.

"I tried that once an' I got stuck" Cheeks red "I couldn't get loose and I sat there until the wizard came and pulled me out an' then he schooled me all evenin'" He turned around sharply. Facing the wall again. "I haven't tried it since"

Cid's mouth twitched again "The thorn bushes are not that high. At least not anymore" he shook his head slightly "Perhaps the wizard you speak of has neglected them?"

"Wouldn't surprise me" Rygdea crossed his arms over his chest again "Come to think 'bout it. The old geezer hasn't been by to check on me for ages! Not since he captured that other princess" He shrugged a bit before turning back to face Raines again "Well, all the better!"

"Well then, shall we attempt a descent?" gesturing for the window again he stopped himself "hm you might want to put on shoes" Glancing at Rygdea's baggy white shirt that showed off more of his chest than it covered "And hm put on something a bit more shall we say... decent"

Rygdea looked a little offended "_Decent_?" he frowned but stopped himself from arguing. "Fine I'll get a coat, why don't ya climb down before me?"

Raines nodded in agreement and grabbed Rygdea's long braid again. Making his way down the window he descended the tower quickly. Finally back on the ground he yanked at the braid again. "I'm down now" he called up.

Rygdea stuck his head out "Eh, Alright... I'll be right down" There was some struggling hooking his hair in the right place and getting out of the window before he slowly made his way down the tower. He stopped about a meter over the bushes though.

Cid frowned and tilted his head slightly "Go on then"

"Did I mention that time my hair got stuck in the thorns and I couldn't get loose for an entire day?"

"Yes, yes you_ did _mention that" He sighed "I cut the bushes down though don't you worry"

"Did I also mention that said happening has_ traumatized _me for life and I am now_ deadly _afraid of thorns?" Rygdea yelled back down at him.

Cid massaged his forehead. "I cut the bushes down!" He repeated. Rygdea glanced over his shoulder "Not enough!"

"Fine then I will catch you" He moved closer with his arms out stretched "You are so much trouble already"

"Well_ duh_, did ya think rescuing a princess would be easy?"

"I suppose not..."

They remained like that for a while. "Well? Let go then!" Cid hissed.

"I'm scared okay, I'm facing a phobia here"

"I will catch you!"

"I know! Just give me a moment okay? It's really high!"

Cid was just going to open his mouth to complain again when Rygdea suddenly let go and fell into his arms. Raines huffed with effort "You could have warned me" he hissed.

"Yeah I_ could_" Rygdea smirked and struggled out of his hold. Setting both feet on the ground he grinned "Oh wow! This feels so weird!"

He started walking off curiously. His long brown hair still trailing it's way down the tower. Cid stood behind to gather it up, making sure none of it got snagged in any of the bushes. When he had collected all of it he walked after Rygdea, tugging at it to make him stop.

"We are going back to my castle now, Princess. On horse back" He motioned towards the horse "I don't know what to do with all this hair" he frowned,

"It's okay I'll just loop it around me a few times. Ya wouldn't believe how long it takes to braid it an' wash it an'-" Stopping himself "Yer not that interested are ya?"

"At least you are somewhat observant" He got up on his horse. Patting the spot behind him "Come now. I don't wish to tarry"

Rygdea smiled " A horse! I haven't seen one up close in ages!" The horse huffed, not impressed. "Wow they smell worse than I remember" the horse, insulted bit into Rygdea's braid "OUCH! An' they're not as nice" Struggling. Cid frowned "Let go!" he schooled and the horse promptly released Rygdea "Yeah I don't like horses" he frowned.

"Well you'll just have to get up on it anyway"

"Look I know you're in a bit of a hurry but ya don't have to be so cold all the time"

"Get up on the damn horse before I tie to it"

"Alright! Alright! I can take a damn hint!" he struggled his way up on the horse "Alright so how far is it to your dumb kingdom"

"A few days, Princess"

Rygdea groaned loudly. "I'm not a damn princess!"

_Why do I always post two chapters at once? I don't know. Probably because I have a lot of free time on my hands these days. Good for some of you, less fun for anyone who turns away in disgust when they see this story update._

_ Sorry for any mistakes I probably missed and thank you for reading!_


	7. Chapter 6

Lightning growled in annoyance as Fang sat behind her, blabbering away. Sitting with both legs hanging down the right side of Odin. Just the fact that she had managed to convince Lightning to let her ride along her on the horse was enough to _irk_ her. She had been walking behind the horse for twenty minutes talking non stop about how much faster it would go if she didn't have to lag behind on foot. And Lightning had eventually agreed that she was right.

Whatever the witch was talking about though, Lightning didn't know. She had stopped listening a while ago.

"Are you sure those pot soldiers are going to stop Snow?" She said finally, not even glancing at her new companion.

Fang cut short in the middle of a sentence, giving the knight a cold glare as she understood that she hadn't been paying attention to her lengthy rants. "Sure" She cracked a smile anyway "They've always protected my house before! Never had any problem" She looked thoughtful and rubbed her chin "Although that_ might _have been because no one ever comes by this road but hey! Kitchen soldiers! I bet he won't stand a chance!"

Lightning nodded slowly "As long as we get there before him I guess"

"Sure, sure" Fang assured and threw her right leg over the side of the horse she leaned over the knights shoulder, sticking her arms under hers she unfolded the map in front of them.

"See here" She smiled and pointed at the road, trailing her finger up to a drawing of a dark tower "Here's Vanille" Drawing a straight line to another tower close by "Here's your Serah. Their towers are parallel to each other!" She leaned back again and folded the map once more.

"It's going to be a little tricky. The dragon usually sits by one of the towers guarding them. Then eventually he shifts and sits by the other one instead"

She dragged a hand through her dark hair and grinned "If we're lucky he might not be there at all! Sometimes he's just gone. Who knows why? Maybe he has other princesses stashed away somewhere?" Shrugging.

Lightning was listening intently now. Nodding her head slowly. "Alright...So we rescue Vanille first? And then you will help me get Serah?"

"Yes of course, with Vanille's powers and mine the dragon won't be a problem!"

"Then how come she's captured at all?"

"What?"

"If the dragon is no match for your powers then how come he managed to capture on of you?" She glanced over her shoulder at the witch. Her eyes glaring at her trough the thin slits in her helmet.

Fang looked a little embarrassed and chuckled uneasily "Alright I might have exaggerated a little bit, no match? Probably not. Easier to rescue a princess if only slightly? Yes I think so" She nodded. "Besides he wouldn't have caught her if we weren't separated! But enough about that!" She leaned forward again. Grabbing Lightning's helmet and turning her forward. Pointing.

"Look! Over there! That's Vanille's tower!"

Lightning looked. Sure enough there was a big black tower not far from where they were now. It had a small entrance at the base and a few small windows at the top. Odin stopped and Fang jumped down on the ground.

"Alright!" She slowly made her way over to a big rock and knelt behind it. Waving Lightning over. The knight got of her horse. Giving it a hand signal to wait for her. Odin huffed as if to say that he understood.

Lightning made her way over to where Fang was. Sitting down next to her.

"Okay, he doesn't seem to be here anyway" Fang whispered to her. Peeking over the rock. "He might be over by the other tower but it's hard to make out from here" Turning back to the knight.

"So here's what we're gonna do" She gave her a serious stare before speaking again "We're gonna sneak in there and grab her."

Lightning rose an eyebrow "...That's it?"

"She nodded simply and shrugged "Yeah pretty much"

"Sounds easy enough"

"Doesn't have to be more complicated than that!" She smiled and without any warning made her way around the rock and down towards the tower. Eagerly waving for Lightning to follow her. Lightning frowned slightly as she got up. Wondering idly why Fang would need her help if it truly was this simple.

But she shook her head and decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Once she made it inside the tower Fang was waiting for her. "Come on! Let's get up the stairs" Lightning looked and noticed that the only thing inside the tower was a tall spiny staircase. She frowned again. It was just too simple somehow! Still she followed the witch up the steps without complaining.

It seemed to take forever. Her armor felt heavy after she made it halfway. Looking down though she saw that she wasn't halfway, she'd only covered about a quarter of the stairs. Which made the armor seem even heavier. Still she was a knight and she pressed on without too much difficulty.

After what seemed like forever and more they finally made it up to a door. That rhymes!

"Shit"Fang breathed "No matter how many times I walk up these things I'm always out of breath!" Leaning against the door for a moment "Who builds these things? Not terribly creative people "Uh yeah I know we made five tall towers with endless staircases but I kind of have a thing for them"" She muttered as she finally pushed the door open.

They barged in. It was a small round room with a single bed I the middle of it. On the bed lay a girl. She looked to be in her late teens. She had bright red hair put up in two cute ponytails. Next to her lay a little boy with a cute round haircut.

They made their way over to the bed and Fang glanced out one of the windows "Hey!" She exclaimed "The dragon isn't over at Serah's tower! Guess we got lucky! Still... he might be back soon so we better hurry!" She turned back to Lightning and made it over to Vanille's bed. Sitting down next to the girl.

"Whats wrong with them?" Lightning almost whispered. She found it odd that the girl and boy hadn't acknowledged them and the door to the tower was unlocked too. She observed her again. She looked like she was sleeping. So did the little boy.

"They're sleeping" Fang confirmed her thoughts.

The knight frowned "So? Wake her up!"

"That's the thing!" Fang hissed back "This is the spell I was talking about! She won't wake up! And _he_ will only wake up if we wake _her_ up!"

Lightning was about to question if Fang had shook her hard enough but decided not to. Just nodding simply. "Okay" She said hastily and nodded again "Then how do we wake her up?"

"Well..." Fang grinned a bit uneasily. Turning back to look at the sleeping Vanille . The witch brushed some red hair away from the girls face "You have to kiss her"

Lightning's eyes widened and she took a step back "Kiss her? Why? Why can't_ you_ do that?" She blurred out.

"Well I've tried _duh_!"

"Then why didn't it work?"

Fang stood up "Because a man has to do it! I don't know why! Maybe the person who came up with the spell was a homophone or something I wouldn't know!"

Lightning stared at her for a moment and the room went silent.

"I... I am not a man" She pressed out finally.

Fang's eyes widened and she frowned deeply "You _**what**_?! You're not a man?"

"No! Do I sound like a man to you?"

"I don't know I figured you just had a weird voice!"

"Well I don't! You said nothing about needing a man!"

"Well why do you think I needed help from that boys dad?!"

"Are you joking with me?"

"Are_ you _kidding _me_?!"

"NO I'm not! I am not a man!"

Fang rubbed her forehead and took an aggressive step towards Lightning "Then what are you?!"

Lightning pulled her helmet off "_**A princess**_!" She shouted back.

Fang stopped up suddenly, Her eyes wide. First Lightning thought she was shocked. But she looked a little too shocked. Princesses weren't that uncommon after all. Then she understood.

"**A princess**?" A loud booming voice said behind her. She froze too. Slowly glancing over her shoulder to see a giant eye peeking through one of the windows.

"...Dragon" She whispered.

"I do enjoy collecting princesses" The dragon chuckled. The eye suddenly disappeared out of view and a giant claw appeared instead. Lightning jumped back in shook as it reacher for her. But it got stuck in the tiny window.

"Darn it" the dragon huffed a bit embarrassed and tried again. No luck.

"You gotta get out of here!" Fang shouted. The tower shook every time the dragon tried to squeeze it's claws through the window.

Lightning nodded but didn't have time to do anything before the dragons hand crashed through the wall. Shaking the tower violently. Half of the roof rained down. Fang threw herself over Vanille and the boy in an attempt to protect them from the falling debris.

"Watch out!" She shouted and reached her hand out for Lightning.

The princess reached for her hand without even thinking. But the dragons claws closed around her waist and pulled her out of the tower. She screamed. Feeling like her body was tossed and turned around like a doll. She wondered if that's why the dragon collected them. Maybe he had a giant doll house somewhere. What a silly dragon. He must be at least... She had no idea how old dragons got.

Frowning she noticed that they were now flying. She could see the lands and kingdoms flashing by underneath her. She started to feel sick. Trying to twist in the dragons grip s she could at least throw up on him. Suddenly they swooshed up through the clouds.

"Argh! What the heck!" She screamed and kicked her legs.

Once above the clouds the dragon headed towards the peak of a mountain. A very tall mountain apparently. It had a small- okay_ small _was the wrong word. It was dragon sized. Anyway it was a "Small" dragon sized cottage at the edge of a cliff of a giant mountain.

He flew her there and went into the house.

It looked like a normal house inside. Except it was big.

Lightning found this odd. No way a dragon used human furniture! That made no sense! Could he hold a normal spoon with his _dragon claws_? Seemed weird. Could he sit on a normal human chair with his giant _dragon butt_? She'd pay to see him try.

Just then the dragon changed. His hand got less scaly (Just less? Apparently!) and his appearance went from lizard like to human like. He looked like a human now. Except he was a giant.

Lightning just stared wide eyed. He was familiar somehow.

"There you go" he said and tossed her into an empty giant bird cage. She landed hard "Ouhf!"

"I'll go look for a tower or something to stuff you in. I'm running out of towers" Closing the cage.

"And whatever you do don't think about trying to break out of there!" Leaning in close he fixed her with a cold blue stare "If some tiny person would for some reason make it up here. _Ignore them_"

Lightning just stared angrily. Pulling herself up from the ground. She wanted to tell him to go screw himself or something but couldn't think of an insult powerful enough. Instead she just crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from him sharply.

He observed her, tilting his head to the side slightly.

"The silent treatment eh? Well the jokes on you! You are going to be very lonely from now on!" He smirked and shrugged slightly before walking out the door. Locking it behind himself like he thought a tiny person would climb a _giant mountain,_ walk up to a _giant_ house only to stop at the _giant_ door because it was **locked.**_ Not _because it was giant and impossible to reach the door handle to begin with._ Nooooo_.

Lightning sat down sourly. Despite being captured by a giant dragon wizard she was still mostly concerned about Serah. Who was going to resc- Oh no.

She stood up and grabbed the bars of her cage. Facing the window she screamed "SNOOOOOOOOOOOW!"

_What took you so long Windowsill did you get a life? No I bought a new video game to distract myself from other video games. Also I'm slow. I actually wrote this chapter forever ago but I never got around to posting it. But hey! Thanks for reading!_


	8. Chapter 7

Noel tugged at the rope gently. "Come on cow, let's go" He said as he patiently watched the animal slowly make it's way after him. He sighed. Damn this thing was slow, should have figured cows made bad traveling companions. Well at least it gave him milk, which was good for more than one reason. He could drink it or sell it or chase away lactose intolerant gnomes with it.

Oh no wait that's right. He had forgotten that the damn thing had stopped giving him milk like, a week ago. Now it was _just_ slow.

And pretty cute but he couldn't hang on to it for that reason alone. It was hard enough to look after yourself on the road let alone some helpless animal.

Which was why he was currently looking for someone he could sell it to. Easier said than done in the middle of nowhere. Maybe he should try and find a town but he didn't have a map or anything so he sort of just hoped he would stumble into one randomly. Less than successful so far.

Suddenly a sound from the side of the road caught Noel's attention. He spun around quickly and drew out his sword. Pointing it forward as he watched the edge of the forest intently. Paying close attention to the leaves swaying softly in the gentle wind. Maybe it had just been the wind then?

Just as he was about to relax however he heard it again. Tensing "Who's there?" he called, assuming it was a human or you know... a talking cat or something. Assuming it was something that could _talk_.

"Oh traveler don't worry" A dark voice_ growled _at him. Creped out by the voice Noel gripped his sword tighter. "What are you?" he called out again.

Instead of a response there was a rustle in the bushes. Followed by a series of grunts, groans and a howl. Noel stared into the forest with wide eyes. What the heck was going on in there?

Suddenly a figure stepped out of the bushes. Noel yelped and backed up, almost tripping over his cow. Who was just lying lazily on the ground, it wasn't that it was braver than him or anything... It just had a pretty jacked up sense of self preservation. He had learned that the hard way.

He managed to stop himself from falling back though and straightened up. Pointing his blade at the figure once more. It was a rather tall man, clad in dark clothes and purple hair. He also had a lot of purple accessories. _A lot _of them in fact. "Is it spirit day or something?" Noel wondered out loud.

The man gave him a confused look. "What?"

"Who are you?" he quickly changed his question to.

The other man frowned a little before putting on a charming smile.

"My name is Caius" He said gently. "What is yours?"

"Noel" He said cautiously.

"It's good to be on your guard" Caius said and observed Noel's sword which was still pointed at him. "But you don't need to fear me. I wish you no harm"

Noel decided that was good enough and at least lowered his sword for the time being. "What were you doing in those woods?" he questioned with a nod of his head in the direction of said woods.

"The same thing you are doing on this road" he responded and titled his head slightly to the side.

"But why in the forest?"

"I was trying to avoid unwanted attention" he shrugged. Blinking slowly before opening his eyes, staring straight at Noel's cow companion.

"That's an interesting choice of steed wouldn't you say?"

"Oh yeah I know... She stopped giving milk a while ago so I was kind of hoping I would find someone I could sell her to"

Caius smiled and rose his eyebrows "Oh? Well, fortunately for you I would be willing to take her off your hands"

Noel's face shone up "Really?"

"Yes" he smiled "I'll give you whatever I have in my pocket for her"

Noel went silent. His smile fading and his face turned from bright and shining into a displeased frown. "Whatever is in your pocket?" he repeated slowly.

Caius nodded, patting it "Yes well... You are quite the hike away from nearest town" Shrugging again "I'd wager this is the best deal you'll get in quite a while"

Noel frowned. He contemplated that for a little while before he finally nodded his head "Alright fine but before I accept you have to promise you won't eat her"

Now it was Caius's time to frown "Not eat her... Right what use do I have for a cow that doesn't give milk?"

"I dunno she could be like a uh... pet or something"

Caius's frown deepened and he rubbed his forehead slowly. Eventually he nodded "Fine I won't"

"Really?" Noel smiled.

"Sure" Caius pressed forth a small, not very convincing smile. "Now let's make this trade..."

Noel handed Caius the rope holding the cow and in turn got something placed in his palm. Withdrawing his hand to inspect what he had been given. He frowned once again. "Beans?" He pouted. "I wanna trade back" he said sourly.

Caius laughed "No can do. Don't worry though they're not ordinary-** HEY!**"

Noel stopped up, just about to throw the beans into his mouth.

"You can't do that!" Caius growled angrily "Those are not for eating!"

"What? You gave me beans I can't even eat?"

"And you gave me a dry cow that I can't eat. I don't think anyone was really pleased with this trade" He glared "Nevertheless it's done now" He pulled at the rope as he started walking back into the woods he had come out of. "I'll be on my way, as should you"

Noel nodded slowly "Yeah I guess..." Suddenly thinking of something "Hey! Wait!" Caius stopped up "What?"

"Do you know what those strange noises I heard right before you showed up were?"

"Hypothetically would you be scared by a guy turning into a wolf every now and then?"

Noel stared "Uh... Yeah?"

"Then no I have no idea" He said simply and began walking back into the woods once again.

The young man stared uneasily at the purple man. His gaze fell on his former cow and he started waving at it "Bye cow" Realizing he had never gotten around to naming it "Drysley" he suddenly decided to call it.

Caius looked over his shoulder to give Noel a strange look before disappearing into the trees.

Left completely alone this time, Noel could only sigh loudly. Looking down at the beans in his hand he frowned in frustration once more. Growling he threw them into the dirt.

"Stupid really suspicious guy" he muttered before sitting down. He decided to make camp there and rest for a bit.

ooooooo

"No stop" Sazh sobbed as he held on to Snow for dear life. The hell spawn horse had not slowed down at all since they had left the witch's cottage. In fact it just seemed to pick up speed every now and then. "Stop this horse" he wailed. "Don't worry you'll get used to it" Snow shouted.

"I'm sure we'll be there any minute now anyw-" He was interrupted as the horse stopped suddenly and both of them flew off. Snow landed hard on the ground with Sazh landing on top of him.

"_Why?_" The blond whispered yet again, looking up in the sky he slowly rose his fist and shook it. "_**Why?**_"

Sazh pulled himself up slowly "Oh! Look!" he shouted and pointed towards a tall tower just down the hill "There it is!" His face lit up. "We found it!" the chocobo chick flew out of his hair, squeaking loudly.

Snow pulled himself up as well. Looking at the tower " Yeah but why is the roof all broken?" Sazh and the chick had been too busy being happy about finally arriving at their destination to notice the poor state of it.

Sazh heart filled up with fear again "It looks like it was attacked by a dragon!"

"It probably was" the blond man huffed as he finally stood up. Putting his fists together before pumping it in the air "We need to hurry over there and Save Serah and Dajh!"

Without further ado the three of them ran down the hill. Well the chocobo actually flew and to be really exact is flew back into Sazh's afro again. Anyway the three of them made it down the hill and into the tower. They started running up the stairs quickly. About twenty steps up they both slowed down from exhaustion. Snow still managing to huff out the occasional "Serah!"

After climbing about half of the stairs Sazh was dragging himself up every step. Only the thought of seeing his child's smiling face keeping him going. The two of them were encouraged by the squeaks of the chocobo in sazh's hair and even tried to motivate each other.

Finally they had climbed high enough to see the open door to the chamber. Both of them quickly rushed inside.

"Serah!" Snow shouted.

"She's in the other tower" A black haired woman said from her seat on the only bed in the room.

"Shit" Snow mumbled and turned in the doorway. Starting to huff his way down the stairs.

Sazh stayed though. Looking at the room. Half of it looked like it had been torn down. Most of the wall and roof was missing and there lay debris scattered all over. He turned his gaze to the dark haired woman on the bed. She was sitting next to a young red headed girl who looked like she was sleeping. And next to her was... "DAJH!" He shouted and ran up to him.

Kneeling next to the bed he quickly grabbed his son's shoulders and shook him lightly. "Hey little guy wake up!"

"That's not gonna work" the dark haired woman said and he turned towards her. Glaring daggers.

"Are you her? Are you the witch?"

"Yeah my names Fang"

"The witch that kidnapped my little boy and then had him taken away by a giant killer dragon?"

"Well when you put it like that you make me sound like a douche bag"

"What have you done to him?!" Sazh shouted furiously, his hands now on Fang's shoulders. Shaking her violently. "Why won't he answer me?"

"Ah relax, relax!" She shouted back and pushed him away roughly "He's asleep!"

"Asleep?" looking back at his son and the red headed girl.

"Yeah a very deep sleep. I mean the tower was attacked by a giant dragon and they didn't wake up! Honestly I couldn't make this up"

Sazh glared at her again.

"Yeah I realize the **attacked by a dragon** part doesn't really make this situation any better" She said awkwardly "BUT!" clapping her hands together she smiled "Now that you are here everything is going to be fine!"

"Oh?" He said curiously. Leaning forward a bit "What do you mean?"

"You!" She smiled "Can break the curse. You just have to do one_ tiiiiny _thing and this will all be over!"

Sazh was starting to get suspicious now. Frowning "One tiny thing huh? And what's that?"

Fang put her hands on Sazh's cheeks and turned his face towards the young red headed girl "Just give that cutie there a little peck on the lips and we'll all be out of here in no time!"

His eyes widened and he shook her hands off himself "Say what?"

"Oh come on! It's no big deal!"

"It is a big deal" the father protested "I don't even know this girl!"

"Look old man I didn't ask you to deflower her or anything just giver her a little smooch and you'll have your son dancing around again. It's not big deal. I've done it myself okay. Just do it"

He stared at her. A bit embarrassed. "Why didn't it work when you did it?"

"It just didn't okay! Ya need a bit of testosterone and manly man-ness to do it now go, make it happen"

He hesitated. Giving her a long hard look before turning to the red head. Then glancing at his son. "Well when you put it like that. I just don't want to seem like some old pervert or anything" he leaned forward and gave the girl a quick peck on the mouth.

Her eyes shot open and she stared right at him.

Sazh threw himself back in surprise "Agh!" He shouted. The girl sat up quickly "Did you break my spell?" She smiled. Looming over him.

"Yes he did!" Fang cheered from behind "Finally sleeping beauty is awake!"

"Fang!" The girl cheered "You rescued me!"

"I told you I would didn't I princess?" She smiled.

Sazh was still under the red headed princess. Feeling rather awkward as she and the witch carried on their conversation. The chocobo chick nestled it's way out of his hair again. Chirping happily it flew away. He followed it with his gaze and his heart jumped as it landed on Dajh.

Sitting up quickly the red head yelped out, falling backwards as he accidentally pushed her off. He made his way over to his son. Cupping his face in his hands "Dajh! You're awake?"

The young boy yawned tiredly. Rubbing his eyes before opening them slowly. The first thing he saw was the little yellow bird bouncing on his chest. "Chocobo?" he smiled and sat up. Holding it in his hands "A chocobo!"

Sazh smiled widely. His eyes became watery as he observed him, nodding "Yeah that's a chocobo alright! You were right little guy... they do exist"

The young boy turned his attention to his father. Smiling widely "Daddy!" He exclaimed and threw his arms around him. Sazh hugged him tight. "I'll never let anything bad happen to you again little guy" He mumbled.

The boy pulled away after a while, still all smiles "It's fine dad it wasn't that scary. I knew you would come and get me!" The squeaking of the chocobo made him turn his head towards it again "And a chocobo! Can we keep it dad?"

At this point Sazh was pretty sure he couldn't have said no even if Dajh had asked him if they could keep the possessed stuffed toy that tried to burn down their old hometown. He nodded "of course!"

"You know" Fang smiled as she watched the two of them "I think your little friend there is under a bit of a spell too"

Sazh gave her a questioningly look and opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the princess. "Wait Fang, what happened here?" referring to the broken down chamber. She looked confused "It wasn't like this before... was it?"

"No Vanille" The witch responded "This happened when... Oh right I nearly forgot! The knight!"

"What?" both Sazh and Vanille asked at the same time.

"I brought a Knight with me to break your spell but eh... turns out it was a woman and she was a princess too. Of course the dragon showed up just then and nabbed her" She scratched the back of her head. Wondering why everyone around her was always captured by dragons. "I promised him er- her that I would help her save princess Serah"

"Princess Serah?" Sazh said "My friend uh Snow came here to rescue her!"

"The big blond guy who came in here earlier? Well she's in the other tower. I guess we should hurry over there before the dragon comes back. We have a lot of stuff to do!"

"Right!" Vanille said and jumped out of the bed. Sazh took Dajh's hand and stood up "I will come with you. I need to thank Snow for helping me"

"Alright" The witch smiled and stretched "Now with Vanille back I can feel my magic getting stronger already! This will be a piece of cake!" with that they started making their way down the stairs.

The trip down the tower and over to the second one was for once uneventful. The hike up the long flight of stairs was as expected just like walking straight into a nightmare. But Fang having Vanille back and Sazh having Dajh back made them both more motivated and Sazh even carried Dajh on his shoulders all the way up.

Once at the top floor they found Snow banging on the door, which was locked.

He turned sharply as he heard footsteps "Who are- Oh Sazh! You're here"

Sazh nodded "Yeah this is the witch and her princess" Smiling proudly "And this is my son! I wanted to thank you for your help and thought I would try and repay the favor!"

Snow smiled and nodded. Patting the wooden door behind him "It's locked up tight. I can't even break it down"

"Leave it to us Blondy" Fang smirked and walked forward. Feeling the door herself "It's got a ward on it. Don't worry though it's nothing the two of us can't handle" She turned and held out her hand to Vanille who quickly took it. They stood in front of the door, reaching out their hands towards it while mumbling some sort of spell.

Suddenly there was a loud booming sound followed by a soft click and the door swung open.

Snow didn't waste any time and quickly ran inside.

He had barely taken two steps into the room before Serah threw herself on him "Snow!" She cried out. Tears running down her cheeks. Snow stared at her in shook. Wrapping his arms around her small figure her feet left the ground as he picked her up effortlessly. "What? What is it? Don't worry everything is fine now I got you! And your sis-"

She interrupted him and pointed at the window. Which had a clear view of the other tower "The dragon took her!"

Snow's eyes widened and he turned to look at the others. Fang sighed loudly "Okay listen up, let me explain what happened" She moved into the room, glancing out the window. The sun had started to descend already and it would be night soon "But we need to leave before the dragon comes back and nabs us too. Let's head down and make camp some place safe" tilting her head a bit to the side "And tomorrow I guess we go on a rescue mission"

ooooo

Noel yawned loudly and stretched. He was sleeping on the ground. Opening his eyes slowly he noticed that the sun had barely begun to set yet. Still there was something that had woken him up. Rolling around a bit. It felt like the ground had shifted somewhat.

He sat up and looked around. Frowning. What the heck Something felt really off.

He stood up and stretched once more. Looking at his small camp fire. It was still going somewhat. He looked to where his cow would have been if he still had a cow and felt a little empty. Oh well at least the very suspicious man had promised not to eat her.

Still wishing he had made some sort of profit. He looked to where had thrown the beans earlier only to find the space taken up by a large bean stalk.

He stared.

His jaw dropped open.

Stared some more.

"What the...?"

He whispered, his gaze flowing over the large green stalk. He tried to see where it ended but the tip must be far above the clouds. That was odd to say the least. Then his mind started to wonder where it would lead him. It grew pretty close to the mountain snaking it's way alongside the forest road. Maybe there was some rare gems or flowers to get up there?

And he had to admit that climbing things was pretty damn fun. Noel looked around once more before putting out the fire. Then he wasted no time before starting to climb the stalk.

It was going to take a while but hey at least he started early.

The sun began to set slowly as he ascended.

_Hey thanks for reading. Or you know punching in your favorite characters name in the search bar and hitting enter a few times. That's totally cool too!_


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